25Jul

Someday, I’ll eat like a normal person again.

8 weeks, 6 days

This morning at 6:45, I lay in our recliner in my jeans and bra (because it was too hot to get completely clothed for work, duh) and managed to coax a bowl of oatmeal down because it was the only thing in our kitchen that didn’t make me gag.

At 9:55, I was in my cubicle, considering what limbs I could sacrifice and devour in order to survive until a socially acceptable lunch time. Desperation set in and I tore into my lunch with nothing short of sheer joy–left over mac and cheese; a testament to how bland I was feeling right after force-feeding myself oatmeal at 6:45AM, but certainly not tasty enough to satiate me. The only solution:  Tabasco smoked chipotle sauce that I had stashed in my desk drawer, of course.  Not a combination I would make under normal circumstances, but a risk I was willing to take.

The result? That ish was delicious and I finished it in approximately .0005687 seconds. And, as an added bonus, all of my limbs remain happily intact.

This led me to wonder about what other delicious culinary combinations are the fruits of a similar pregnancy-induced hunger frenzy. I did some quick Google-sleuthing and came up with this list of weird food combinations from Yahoo’s Sarah McColl of Shine Food:

  1. Mashed potatoes and noodles with gravy.
  2. Gravy and biscuits with grape jelly.
  3. Peanut butter and mayo sandwiches.
  4. Chocolate cake with pinto beans.
  5. Hollowed-out pickles filled with ranch dressing and cheese.
  6. Garlic bread topped with peanut butter and spaghetti.
  7. Peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches.
  8. Eggs with Spam and white rice.
  9. Doritos dipped in cream cheese.
  10. Sugar and grits.
  11. Popcorn and mustard.
  12. Pancakes and ketchup.
  13. Frito’s and caramel sauce.
  14. Peanut butter and Cool Ranch Doritos sandwiches.
  15. Peanut butter and ham sandwiches.
  16. Uncooked pasta dipped in peanut butter.
  17. Cream cheese with jam on toast.
  18. Chocolate chip cookies with cottage cheese.
  19. Pickles and peanut butter.

Surely there is a pregnant lady who deserves the credit for some of these things. Frankly, I find most of them to be yak-worthy at this point. Honorable mentions that I think should have made the list?  Lobster ice cream, bacon sundaes and pickled pig’s feet, just to name a few.

And so the pendulum predictably swings, my friends….writing this entry about food has welcomed my old friend Nausea back.  I’ll be in the recliner.

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