40 weeks, 2 days
I’m in denial.
I’m going to be someone’s mother (MOTHER.) in pretty short order. Still wrapping my brain around that one. Last night I stood in the shower and fretted that a.) I’d be pregnant forever and b.) that I’m actually hysterically pregnant and there’s no baby. Sooo…still rational at least.
Had my first cervix check on Tuesday, pleasant right? (Life-pro heads-up tip: does not tickle in the slightest.) In case you’re curious, I wasn’t dilated or effaced…but my cervix is “soft”. Baby Kelly is obviously not interested in making a grand debut any time in the next few days. Anyway, I’m to return to the doctor on Monday if I’m still pregnant. They don’t let people go much beyond 41 weeks before they induce. I have to admit that I am not looking to go the induction route. As disgusting and uncomfortable as I feel, I’d rather just wait this baby out.
It’s well-known that this is my first go ’round with all things gestation and parturition, so right now all I’m able to focus on is wondering what labor and delivery will be like. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the birth stories that are shared on r/Babybumps…birth videos are cool, but I enjoy the firsthand descriptions and really appreciate the wide variety experiences/expectations/etc.
How have I been feeling? I have to admit that I’ve felt physically worse (especially during the 1st trimester…woof) but, that said, I feel like a large sea mammal that has beached and is slowly bloating on the sand while the gulls standby and wait for god knows what.
Let me count the ways that I feel ghastly:
My available wardrobe (read: things I’m not too big for) now consists of 2 pairs of black stretch pants, 1 maxi dress and 3-4 long-sleeved shirts. There are sweatshirts and sweatpants that still fit, but I would not normally wear them in public and don’t plan to start. Last Friday, my office graciously allowed me to spend the rest of my pregnancy working from home. It’s a wonderful thing too, because the only shoes I can wear now are a pair of flip-flops and a pair of green Crocs. Not footwear you’d associated with New England in February.
How do I look? Puffy. My ankles, feet and calves are swollen to impressive proportions and have the consistency of TempurPedic memory foam (I’m not exaggerating on that one.) Almost my entire right foot is numb. My hands and fingers are swollen and the joints are painful. The baby is resting in such a way that I get shooting pains in my right groin area when I get up from a chair. My back is sore and my bladder has the capacity of about 2 thimbles. Everyone keeps telling me that my belly doesn’t look like a 40 week belly (one of the nurses went so far as to call it ‘petite’ Tuesday) so that must mean that most of the 40+lbs I’ve put on resides in my ass cheeks (thanks in no small part to these little beauties).
I’ve prepped everything I can think of, cleaned and/or washed everything, made up the spare rooms for possible house guests, cooked and frozen meals and packed hospital bags for myself and the baby. The running stroller has been assembled and the car seat bases are installed. The baby’s room is in full working order. I’ve nested with the best of them, folks. I’ve nested so well, in fact, that I’ve now resorted to working on little home improvement projects that aren’t too messy or physical simply because I can’t handle just sitting around and twiddling my thumbs.
(Good news–the new paint in the hallway looks fab.)
Otherwise, it’s mostly been business as usual. Oh, a few weeks ago I got a head cold that left me with a lingering cough. This, coupled with the dry February air and my new talent for snoring made for an unlucky combination when I woke from a sound sleep coughing so hard that I vomited. Yep. Right there in bed. That’s right ladies and gents; nothing but the glam life.
For your viewing pleasure, a few new photos:
Props to the iPhone app Pictosaur for the above photo panel (though it has to be said that Mr. TJ Kelly is to thank for some Photoshop editing…captions, photo arrangement, etc.) The next time I’m having a non-pregnant ‘fat day’ I’m going to pull this thing up and reminisce. Why yes, yes I am wearing a ski helmet and goggles in the last picture. For purely vain reasons too–because I don’t like how puffy (FAT. whatever) my face looks. You wanna fight about it??
Sooo…I’d like to say that ANYONE who has some kind of fetish or fascination for swollen ankles has never had swollen ankles. This shit is for. the. birds.