I'm going to be someone's mother in pretty short order. Still wrapping my brain around that one.
Just when you think you've come to terms with a change in your body or a new symptom, your body decides it's time for a fresh, new, humiliating and uncomfortable twist.
I thought it might be entertaining to talk a little about how I expect my birth experience to be. Then, later, I can go back and laugh hysterically at all of the things I got wrong. Is this a birth plan? I have no idea, but probably not.
If I could choose a soundtrack for my life right now, it would be some kind of mash-up between Chariots of Fire and one of those sad tuba bass lines: inspiring yet depressing and kind of hard to watch.
Adventures in pregnancy hot flashes and what it's like to be walking radiator.
I think now that part of standard pre- and post-natal care should be visits with a licensed family therapist. Pre-natal vitamins to combat birth defects and pre-natal therapy to combat pregnancy blues.
The nice doctors and nurses are sending you home with a PERSON that you must RAISE; a helpless creature that is entirely and unquestionably dependent on YOU keeping it ALIVE. TRY NOT TO MESS UP.
Aside from the obvious bodily transformations - you know, the boobs and the belly - I didn't expect much else to change. I figured my ankles might swell, my skin might act up, and in general I'd just look like a beefier version of my former self. Check, check and check.
On June 30th, I went for a morning run along one of my favorite routes through our town; just over 3 miles through quintessential New England scenery. I remember thinking to myself that I felt a little sluggish and had been for a few days. I blamed it on fatigue after a recent trip we'd taken. Less than 24 hours later, I stood in our bathroom with a positive EPT in my hand and knew why I’d been feeling a little off.
Know what I’m bad at? Rationally defending myself, and accepting personal criticism like an adult. That, and being called fat.