The nice doctors and nurses are sending you home with a PERSON that you must RAISE; a helpless creature that is entirely and unquestionably dependent on YOU keeping it ALIVE. TRY NOT TO MESS UP.
Aside from the obvious bodily transformations - you know, the boobs and the belly - I didn't expect much else to change. I figured my ankles might swell, my skin might act up, and in general I'd just look like a beefier version of my former self. Check, check and check.
On June 30th, I went for a morning run along one of my favorite routes through our town; just over 3 miles through quintessential New England scenery. I remember thinking to myself that I felt a little sluggish and had been for a few days. I blamed it on fatigue after a recent trip we'd taken. Less than 24 hours later, I stood in our bathroom with a positive EPT in my hand and knew why I’d been feeling a little off.
Know what I’m bad at? Rationally defending myself, and accepting personal criticism like an adult. That, and being called fat.
In high school I was a moody, grotsky trainwreck. I calmed down in college along with the hormonal spikes, thanks be to biochemistry. Lately, I’m back to the secondary school hormonal scene.
In high school I was a moody, grotsky bitch. I calmed down in college along with the hormonal spikes, thanks be to biochemistry. Lately, I’m back to the secondary school hormonal scene.
What do I mean when I say apathy, exactly? To be blunt, I feel emotionally detached from the person I’m currently growing in my womb; like I swallowed a baby pill and I’m just waiting for it to pass through some kind of gestational digestive system so that I can expel it and get on with my life. I feel monstrous just saying that sort of thing out loud and I’m finding that I have accompanying and overwhelming feelings of guilt as a result.
I watched Olympic dressage and cried my eyeballs out when Charlotte Dujardin, Adelinde Cornelissen and Laura Bechtolsheimer rode and ultimately won medals. Two kids in the marching band we teach totally killed their parts at band camp last week, causing me to well up. The Dog Whisperer = hysterics. This is my life, you guys.
So, fun fact: I have a bulky uterus! My ass and thighs are bulky, and I’ve been told since I was about 12 that I have “child-bearing hips” (that’s PRECISELY what a 12 year old wants to hear) so hey! My uterus fits right in! Turns out that being told your uterus is bulky is a compliment. Who knew?
At 9:55, I was in my cubicle, considering what limbs I could sacrifice and devour in order to survive until a socially acceptable lunch time.